Reflection: If This Were My Last Ramadan, Am I Ready?

 BY AN UNKNOWN AUTHOR.

100% cut & paste, unexpurgated and unaltered.

This is a beautiful and deeply moving piece of muhasabah (self-reflection). It captures that bittersweet shift from the outward festivities of youth to the inward spiritual urgency of maturity.

Here is the translation into English, preserving the contemplative and soulful tone of the original.

Reflection: If This Were My Last Ramadan, Am I Ready?

Approaching Ramadan at our current age feels different.

In our 20s or 30s, Ramadan was defined by the atmosphere:

What’s on the menu for iftar?

What color is the new Eid outfit?

How many jars of cookies are on the table?

Everything felt light. Life felt like it would stretch on forever.

But now?

Ramadan feels quieter.

More serious.

More soul-stirring.

This age is not just a number; it is a gentle alarm from Allah.

Not intended to frighten us, but to awaken us.

To remind us that the time remaining is less than the time that has passed.

We start to see our peers falling ill.

Some depart suddenly.

Those we once joked with are now just names in our prayers.

And silently, the heart asks:

"When will it be my turn?"

Ramadan arrives with a deeper question:

If this were my last Ramadan, would I be ready?

The Shift in Perspective

At this age, the physical body is no longer the same.

Fasting requires more care.

Acid reflux starts to protest.

The knees often creak before we even stand for Tarawih.

Yet, there is beauty in that frailty.

We realize this body won't stay strong forever, and we are forced to lean more heavily on Allah.

Ramadan at our age is no longer about looking "pious."

It’s not about updating others on our worship.

It’s not a race to see who finishes the Quran fastest.

It’s about a personal connection.

About a heart that seeks cleansing before it truly returns home.

Facing the Truth

Because let’s be honest… the sins of our youth were not few.

The high egos of the past,

The words that wounded others,

The hours wasted on trivial things,

The prayers we frequently delayed,

The parents we once disappointed.

Ramadan comes like a second chance.

As if Allah is whispering, "There is still time. Fix it."

At this age, we also realize: The children are watching.

How we welcome Ramadan is what they will emulate.

If they only see the kitchen and the decorations, that is what they will deem important.

But if they see their mother waking early for Tahajjud,

Or their father becoming gentler while fasting,

They learn the true meaning of faith.

A Practice for the Final Return

Ramadan is not just an annual ritual. It is a "rehearsal for returning home."

A practice in self-restraint,

A practice in humbling the ego,

A practice in letting go of the world, bit by bit.

Age makes us more honest with ourselves.

We know what truly matters and what is merely for show.

We know what we will take to the grave, and what will simply stay behind in the closet.

Because the reality is simple:

Only our deeds follow us into the grave.

Not followers,

Not profit margins,

Not the praise of men.

Preparing the Heart

So, as we approach this Ramadan, perhaps it’s not just the dates and syrup we need to prepare, but our hearts.

Have we asked our parents for forgiveness?

Have we made peace with our spouses?

Have we let go of the grudges we secretly harbor?

Ramadan at our age is about courage.

The courage to change.

The courage to admit mistakes.

The courage to mend.

We may not be able to relive our youth, but we can still secure our future in the Hereafter.

A Final Amanah (Trust)

We must realize: not everyone is granted the chance to reach this age.

If Allah has given us more years, it isn’t a coincidence. It is an Amanah.

So, do not live this Ramadan like any other year.

Raise the level.

Deepen the prostrations.

Soften the speech.

Increase the Istighfar (seeking forgiveness).

It could be that one Ramadan performed with total sincerity at this age becomes the turning point for our eternal destiny.

Don’t wait for perfect health.

Don’t wait for your problems to be solved.

Don’t wait until you "feel more ready."

Because time does not wait.

Ramadan is at the door.

Only one question remains:

"Will we enter it as the same person we were last year, or as a version of ourselves that is more ready to return home?"

If your heart is moved, start today with one real change.

Just one for now—but make it consistent.

Because perhaps...

This is no ordinary Ramadan.

......................end....................