YM talk....15.4.17

Assalamualaikum. Sharing fr group sebelah. Semoga bermanafaat.

*SILVER LINING- Rising above the storm*
By Yasmin Mogahed
15.4.2017

1. Navigating through a storm
- it's not just about keeping us from drowning
- but also to use the storm to thrive
- to become better, to be stronger
- to grow through trials
- so you are more prepared for the next storm.

2. Life is not perfect
- some people see trials negatively but actually it is positive
- while life is not perfectly good but realise that life is also not perfectly bad
- What it means is when something is wrong, it's not all bad.

3. Many people have the tendency to focus only on what went wrong that we are missing what is good. There was this image about a boy who smiled ear to ear with one slice of cake. And there is another image of a boy crying with whole cake because one slice of the cake is missing. It all depends on what you focus on.

4. Innama'al 'usri yusro. For one hardship there are many eases. No one is ever tested in everything. Allah gives many other eases when there is one hardship.

5. It's all about focus. Whatever you focus on, it will grow. If you are thankful Allah will increase you. If you focus on what you don't have and the negativity, it will surround you and grow even more.

6. So be careful about what you choose as your focal point.

7. When you go to a creation with empty (nothing) inside, you expect to be filled. You will be like beggars.

8. Most people are irritated by beggars. Begging will turn people away from you. Stop going to creation empty. Go to Allah empty.

9. Why do bad things happen to good people ?
- actually bad things never happen to good people.
- The matter of the believer is amazing, everything that happened to him is good. (Hadith)
- It depends on how you interprete good and bad
- This concept empowers you because no one has the ability to harm you because you see good in everything (do not mistaken this with not doing anything to correct wrongs)

10. 99% of the time we interpret good or bad through the lense of dunya.
- Qarun had so much wealth. He was so wealthy that the key to his wealth was wealth.
- He love to show off and people wanted to be rich like him
- some people advised him to be grateful but he said I got this from a knowledge in me.
- He was destroyed, swallowed by the earth.
- Wealth was actually bad for him.
- Those people who earlier wished they have what he had later said thank goodness we didnt have what he had

11. Things are not always what it seems. Refer the story of Musa and Khidir a.s in surah Al Kahfi. Few things that khidir a.s did seems like bad things which actually are good.

12. It maybe you hate something, but it's good for you. Maybe you love something but it's bad for you. Allah knows and you dont. (Quran)

13. Sometimes we are like a child who wants to hold on to the knife. When the knife is taken away, a child threw tantrum not knowing that the knife that was taken away from him is good for him.

14. Do not get it wrong. If someone is mistreating you, you should do something about it, take action to stop it. Sabr is not being passive. Sabr includes actions. Part of worship is taking action against injustice. But you do not despair over decree of Allah. That is Sabr.

15. How can you tell the difference btwn a test and punishment ?
The answer is easy. What was your response ? Did the event / incidence bring you closer to Allah or further away from Allah.

16. Refuge to stay strong
- How solid is my inner refuge ?
- How do you build the inner refuge ?
- By building brick by brick to prepare you for refuge. 

17. A believer may feel sad, experience pain but a believer never lose hope. It is ok to feel sad but dont despair, do not lose hope on Allah swt.

18. The way to heal is not to suppress it. A lot of culture teach that if you are in pain, just stop crying. Just use a bandage to cover it. You know what happened when you just cover the gunshot wound. It will get infected and worse till it has to be amputated.

19. Sadness actually is not from syaitan. But despair is. Pretending that you are not sad will not make the problem go away. We must acknowledge the pain.  Then turn to Allah on that pain with hope. Nabi yunus a.s. never lose hope. We should always have hope in the mercy of Allah.

20. There is a difference btwn hearing a concept and living a concept. All what we have discussed above is a concept. You need to live with it and apply it.

21. So how do we apply this?
- If you want to be able to thrive from the storm, build your refuge every other day before the storm come.

- How? 3 things :

1. *Solat*
- solat is like oxygen. You will die if you don't have oxygen. The same for your soul. Without solat your soul will die.
- Allah prescribed solat at a specific time because He knows we need it.

2. *Azkar*
- Rasulullah s.a.w always read du'a in every motion of his life / before doing anything. These du'as are not statement of the tongue, but statement of the heart.

- It is living my dunya life but my heart continue to connect with Allah.

- Islam is practiced within our mundane life. You are always feeding the heart if you do this.

- We are always in a battlefield with the unseen enemy - syaitan - who only want you to suffer. His only goal is to destroy you. When you turn away from remembrance of Allah which is your armour, this enemy will come and become your advisor. When he whispered we thought it was our idea. This enemy doesnt take a day off. That's why collection of duas from rasulullah s.a.w are called fortress of muslims (hisnul muslim).

Apps - My duaa. Prophet muhammad saw has du'a for everything in life.

��There are so many azkar you can make. But this few azkar *you can't live without* to shut the door from syaitan :

- morning azkar
- evening azkar
- before sleep
- before eat
- when you enter your house
- intimacy
- bathroom

��azkar to open doors to goodness :

(a) la haula wala quwwata illa billah
(b) istighfar (sayyidul istighfar)
(c) doa nabi yunus -
لا إله إلا أنت سبحانك إني كنت من الظالمين

When we have a problem we focus too much on the problem that we forget to find the keys to open door. Azkar is the key. Always keep your heart in constant communication with Allah

3. *Quran*

You must have a constant relationship with the book of Allah

����If you hold down to these 3 things you will never drown and you will be protected from the unseen enemy.

22. How to combat pride / arrogance :

- realise that there is no good except from Allah
- realise that Allah can take it away to humble you. He can take you to the floor in split second.
- never feel you are better than someone else. When you are advising, remember your own flaws and istighfar. Give advise but always remember your own flaws when you do that

23. There are 3 responses when you have a test :

(1) Anger - anger with the decree of Allah (why me). We are all human, sometimes we respond this way. When we did, make istighfar and ask Allah to make it easy for you to have patience

(2) Patience - Patience does not mean you are being passive and do not take action as explained earlier. It means you are not complaining about the decree of Allah.

Rewards of sabr is purification of sin. (Nabi ayyub never stop making du'a to Allah)

(3) Redha - contentment. Redha is higher than sabar. Redha is when u see beyond the trial and accept it in gratitude. Reward of redha is your status is elevated by Allah.

Some people act like a baby taking an injection when faced with difficulty. All they see is pain. This is anger.

Some people act like a teenager taking an injcetion, they still feel the pain but they dont complain to the doc because they understand. This is sabar

Few people act like an adult who took an injection by thanking the doc for that. He truly understand that the injection is to save his life. He is so happy and grateful to the doc for the injection. This is redha.

24. Allah said we will surely be tested. (2:155-156)

25. When you are wronged, you dont consider forgiveness because someone deserve or not deserve your forgiveness. You forgive because you want forgiveness of Allah (24: 22)

26. Remember when you are dealing with creations, you are actually dealing with Allah. Dealing with creations with good is actually an act of worship. Dont separate it.

27. The way i treat people is the same as how Allah would treat me.

28. Forgiveness is about me, not about the other person. Forgiveness is about us wanting forgiveness from Allah for ourselves.

29. Being good to people and forgiveness is actually a fast track to the mercy and aid of Allah in all trials that you face. 

30. To help a brother in need is more beloved to the Prophet s.a.w. than to do iktikaf in Masjid anNabawi for days. (Hadith)

31. When you remember that everything belongs to Allah, you will act differently upon facing any calamity.

32. Building this refuge / fortress can never be put off because you will never know when your time will end.

33. Whatever fill your heart in your life will come out at the time of your death.

- There are people who cant say laa ilaa hailla Allah during their last moment even when the whole family surround them and teach / remind them of the words. There are reports, some even utter numbers, lyrics, calculations.

-Be very careful about how you live your life. Only people who have Allah at the centre of their life will be able to say Allah on their tongue during the last second of their life.